Aloha and the Divine Universe

March 17th, 2003
Aloha and Good Morning,

         As I packed for my annual pilgrimage to San Francisco for the Makahiki celebration that culminates with an opportunity to enter into the fire made sacred and walk upon her hot coals, I found myself reflecting upon my life and my hopes, my relationship and my desire to learn a better way of being, a better way of presenting myself, a better way of honoring and serving the beloveds in my life, my family and all of you.

         We do not live in a cold empty universe devoid of everything save a few pieces of swirling matter tumbling through the vastness of space. That may be an accurate description of how the physical universe seems to most people and yet are we not so much more than merely physical?

 Every living creature from the most advanced human being to the tiniest of viruses, and everything else, is an interconnected reflection of the Divine. I mean connected in the literal sense. Those who have eyes to see would perceive the tiny, spider web strands that stretch between all that is.

         The Hawaiian word Aloha, formed from the roots alo (Meaning to share) and ha (meaning breath, but also implying life and touching on the divine), can be translated as the breath of life that flows from the heart of god to me and through me to you – and from the heart of god to you and through you to me.  It has a similar

reciprocal symmetry to the equally beautiful Sanskrit word, Namaste, but with less shades of reverence and more entailments of the interconnected oneness of all things. As a word, it feels more matter of fact. The word aloha points to a profound sharing, for we are all connected and we are all one in our ultimate level of being. We cling to the illusion of separation because it is useful in our evolution. In my minds eye, I see that if one were to gather up all the shinning silver connections that flow from each of us to each of us and from there to everything else we would gaze upon the face of god.

       

 I believe that this divine, beautiful, interconnected universe is a conscious creation that acts like a womb for is it not the place in which we grow, develop and mature? Within the womb I believe we receive that which we truly desire even when we fail to recognize the form in which our desires return to us. I also believe that the energies and intentions that we consciously and unconsciously project outward always return. “Cast your bread upon the waters,” was the phrase Christ chose to teach this principle and its profound implications.

      

         So, this morning as my beloved partner arose to prepare for work and as I

arose to prepare for my trip, she made the comment “It must be nice.” My first thoughtless, automatic reaction was a burst of anger that flooded into my stomach at all the negative things I assumed she was implying by that comment.

         Then, after a moment to let the feeling flow through, I took a breath and found a place of stillness and into that stillness flooded an awareness that maybe, just maybe she was asking me for reassurance: reassurance that I notice and appreciate how hard she is working to support me and to help make my trip possible, that I notice and appreciate all the things she has to take on alone while I’m away, since I won’t be there to help her, and most importantly that I love her and will miss her while I am gone. My whole inner being changed and grew quiet in that moment of insight. And to myself I acknowledged, “Yeah, it really is nice.” This morning moment is my public acknowledgement of my appreciation for her and my appreciation for the moment of insight and growth presented by the universe in the form of a simple comment: “It must be nice.”

         I was remind once again that if I assume a negative response the divinely responsive universe will always provide opportunities in which people and events will response negatively to me. On the other hand, if I truly desire to live more positively, the universe will always provide opportunities in which my desire to be positive is challenged by seemingly negative events. In both cases the outward happenings could be exactly the same and yet one’s internal process is vastly different.

         I wish for all of you my deepest aloha in your personal journeys of growth and evolution. May we all begin to notice the growth opportunities the universe presents to us. So, as my partner would say: “Learn the lesson so you don't have to repeat it!” Indeed. May we all learn our lessons, not repeat them, and move on to the wonder and joy of being alive.

Love and Aloha,
Holman

The Makahiki Firewalk

Mar. 26th, 2003

         As I sat in the airplane, returning from my celebration of Makahiki and the firewalk leader/instructor training that followed, I pondered all the events I’d witnessed and participated in. There was board breaking, fire eating, some business with a needle; bending iron rebar and breaking arrows by placing them in the hollow of the throat and pressing forward with full commitment, and finally the firewalk.

         All these activities lack a certain degree of common sensibility, all of them fall outside what for most is normal reality and all of them inspire some degree of anxiety, fear or sheer terror. They are challenges, opportunities to transcend one’s perceived limitations and step into a new way of being, a deeper level of self definition.

         None of this may seem important in a world increasingly consumed by war

and unrest, and yet these are precisely the times when meeting our personal challenges become the most transformative. The events that unfold around us, when reduced to their ultimate core, seem to spring from a well fed by only two deep underground springs: love or fear. Some mixture of these primordial building blocks can be seen in all of our behaviors, in all of our reaction patterns and even in the events catapulting the course of human history in one direction or another. Human history may be too large a concept to take personal responsibility for and yet is not the history of humanity simply the collective cornucopia containing all of our individual choices?

         Sometimes our choices come down to something absolutely basic: to walk forward stepping on the red hot coals of life or to step aside; to face our fears or be faced down by them. This does not imply, in any way, that everyone at a firewalk should walk; rather, it applies to those who feel called to press forward against their reluctance and step off the edge of their comfort zone into the dangerous unknown.

         The fire roared fifteen feet into the sky. Sparks streamed heavenward with an aliveness that reminded me of fairies dancing. In time the flames gave way to coals glowing red hot beneath their slight blanketing of ash. The moment of truth arrived. There is a certain science and psychology to why a person can step on hot coals and not be burned horribly; but moreover, there is mystery and miracle, a touch of the Divine that carries one to safety on the other side of the coals. Still, fire calls forth an instinctive terror. Fire burns. We all know it in our deepest cellular memory. We have all shared the experience of being burned. It’s just plain scary to stand before the fire pit and know you have to either walk or stand aside, either exercise your faith or apologize later for its lack when one felt the call and ignored it.

         In the small space of this Morning Moment there is no way to adequately describe the emotions that surge through your body when you stand before the firewalk and feel its heat upon your face. It is the culmination of anticipation that builds and builds as you watch towering flames slowly consuming the huge, carefully stacked pile of wood, reducing it ember by ember into glowing, red hot coals. In case you're curious: The fire bed, with its shimmering, radiating, red hot coals averages between 200 and 800 degrees Fahrenheit, depending upon the exact spot you measure.

       A mother and her 12 year old daughter – both beautiful, wonderful women – came to our celebration. Neither had ever walked on fire before. You could see their emotions running high and almost hear the rapid beating of their hearts. Everyone present supported them as they worked up their courage and their energy. The mother walked. Her relationship to her own divinity deepened instantly. Her daughter really wanted to walk. She pumped her arms and marched around the yard. She approached the fire and hit the wall of her own fear. She stopped.

         “I can’t do it!” She cried. Around the yard she went again, again she marched up to the edge and stepped aside. Again she cried, “I can’t do it.” Yet she didn’t give up. She tried several more times, still unable to push through her fear of the fire. 

         Her mother came to her and said, “You can do it. I’ll walk with you and we’ll do it together.”

         So together they marched around the yard; together they built up their courage and their energy and their determination. Then they walked, arm in arm, across the hot coals and were not burned. I felt profoundly moved. We all did. The daughter, in a rush of excitement and joy, ran around and walked across the fire two or three more times. Everyone present felt the same rush of emotion. We all witnessed the bond between mother and daughter deepening and their love for each other overflow.

         The fire is a profound and sacred teacher.

       Thank you for spending this morning moment with me. May each of us, when we step up to our own personal firewalk, when fear and anxiety pumps into our bloodstream and ice into our stomach, in that moment may we remember the divinity that lies within, may we remember our limitlessness and walk forward across the hot coals of our fear and into the rush of emotion and love that lies on the other side.



Love and Aloha,
Holman

Thoughts on Sand

April 8th, 2003

Aloha and Good Morning,

So, I was thinking about sand. The other day a salesman stopped by our door. “Your life,” he explained, “Will never be complete until you own the world’s best vacuum cleaner.” Then he told us how sand ruins our rugs. Each tiny grain has up to seven sharp edges that cut and grind away the fibers.

So, I was thinking about sand. . . Sand and sharp edges. What are the sharp edges in my life that cut and grind? Some mornings my alarm clock alone has at least a hundred sharp edges. Who among us can’t find a hundred other things that offend our sensibilities?

We seem to smash up against the sharp edges of our expectations, our attachments and our relationships – where a single sharp word cuts into the heart of our beloveds, inflicting wounds that last from moments to months to a lifetime. We cut ourselves on the sharp edges of unconscious reaction patterns that reinforce negativity and hurt rather than invite love and warmth.

Then I thought some more and turned it around in my mind. It’s not about the jagged edges life presents to me. It’s about the jagged edges I present to life. In my soul there remain many sharp edges, the little hooks that catch and bind the smooth flow of my life, the natural energy and manifestation of the divine. This is neither good nor bad. Polishing down the sharp edges of our souls is simply one of our normal life processes. Meanwhile, awareness and compassion can cover our cutting edges; for in every moment, we have the ability to choose what part of ourselves we present: the harsh, hard edge or the vulnerable, soft, cuddly, squishy, teddy bear parts that gush spontaneous geysers of acceptance, love, warmth, compassion, laughter and joyfulness.

Besides, the sharp edges of sand can only be seen under great magnification.

When one pulls back and looks at the greater picture we see Zen gardens and the still space in the dune’s shadow, sand castles and children playing. We see lovers strolling hand in hand and the ocean tide’s eternal caresses. We see the softness in our partners touch and the love in the depths of her eyes. We see the oft silent struggle of everyone simply doing the best they know how. We see our part. We see the dignity, value and importance of creating a habitual reaction pattern that seeks the softness within ourselves, our heart space, our stillness, our balance. We come to the realization that the more we can gently give this part of ourselves to the beloveds beside us, the more love naturally flows back in the circular cycle of life.

        It bears repeating: if we fear anger, discomfort, disharmony or being fired from our jobs, the essential core energy of those emotions flow outward from us. Since energy is attracted to like energy, those emotions collect more of the same until finally they have enough energy in the dream world to manifest in the created world. In other words, our subconscious will always work to create the circumstances which we give energy to and we will inevitably find ourselves confronted by that which we desire the least. Rather, can we not create a self-embracing heart space and cast it upon the waters so that we can welcome its inevitable return?

         May your heart cling to joy, peace, and centeredness and may your soul’s
focus be the castles in the sand and not the sharp edges.

Love and Aloha,
Holman

Letting Go of the Rock

April 18th, 2003



Aloha and Good Morning,



       You know, I’ve been thinking about how we experience life. I’ve been taught that I have control over my own experience, that I create and manifest it. I believe that’s true and yet sometimes I find myself less than perfectly peaceful, less than perfectly happy. In fact, doesn’t the stress of our daily lives sometimes feel like the whole world has formed itself into a huge hammer and decided that you’re its nail? I’m reminded of a story told during my Firewalk Instructor training in San Francisco.

         Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. The current of the river swept silently over them all, young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.

        Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth. But one creature said at last, “I am tired of clinging, though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. Or, if nothing else, at least it is going somewhere other than here. I shall let go and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.”

         The other creatures laughed and said, “Fool! Let go and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks and you will die quicker than boredom.”

         But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more. The creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, “See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!”

         The one carried in the current said, “I am no more Messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure!”

         To take control of your experience, you must be willing to perceive and to experience life differently, to let go of the rocks we cling to that no longer serve us, like the rock of emotional reaction patterns that reinforce feelings of hurt and discountedness. Not only is it no fun to feel that way, but the energy of our feelings flow out from us and create more of the same in ourselves and in the people around us. The more time we spend in any one emotion, the more we begin to draw people and situations into our lives that reflect that same feeling back to us. Think about that!

         Negative emotions – like a huge, hoary beast that feeds upon itself and grows stronger, have a certain weight and momentum. They are self-reinforcing. It requires a willing and active awareness, a strong and determined intention to break the escalating cycle of negative feeling and negative emotions. You must actively and passionately proclaim your freedom from negativity. Once you sign that declaration of independence, be prepared for the revolutionary battles that follow.

         One’s resolve to evolve is always tested. Yet not really. What really happens is more like this – once you’ve decided to put a stop to the cycle of negative reaction patterns and habitually negative thought cycles, the universe responds with a divine gift: the Opportunity to practice and master your new intention. Then She wonders why we complain about her gifts. Perspective! It’s all about our perspectives.

         It comes down to a personal commitment; a willingness to embrace the battle, to be the hero of our own experience, to take responsibility for all that unfolds around us and for all that enters into our personal space. Regardless of the exact multitudinous mechanism that controls manifestation for the millions of human beings on this planet, such an attitude of personal, conscious responsibility is a helpful and empowering stance to adopt. It forces one to reflect and to take responsibility for what we project.

         So, for today, I resolve to a deep commitment to my own inner well-being, my own inner peace. I will do this by consciously “letting go of the rock,” and entering into the current. I will do this with my deep intention to breathe, breathe, breathe and to shift focus from the negative to the positive the moment I become aware of that hoary beast intruding upon my space. I will let it go and let it pass through. The beast, if left unfed, will seek its sustenance elsewhere and I’ll gladly let it leave. I hope each of us can create the same commitment. Our lives will change and our souls will grow. Plus, our beloveds will thank us and their souls will grow as well in this new perspective and environment of peace, laughter and love.

Thank for spending this moment with me.

Love and Aloha, 

Holman